Bittersweet

[Note: started this post on Wednesday night ~ didn't finish it until Friday. Some heavy hearted commentary so... u'll know... going ... in... D~]

What a day ~ bittersweet... Gave me a lot to think about.
Life, people, can turn on a dime.

Up at 5:30 AM... Alarm had been "signaling" me for a good hour!
It was Mother's idea to be out of town by 6 AM.
I propped the good eye open and tried to make sense of th' time staring at me. I remembered the anguish in her voice, and the tears as well ~ that she'd left on my machine just this past Sunday morning. She'd called me out before sunrise that day too...
"Not gonna make it outta town, by 6 AM, Mom." I muttered to myself.
Why is it, I could be up, spry and ready to slay dragons yesterday morning, but... To the dot, 24 hours later, I'm 'dragging the sleigh' ~!? Hummmm. SO NOT in the 'good mood' this morning and that's foreign to me. . . But then I know I'll be facing grief today. . . And no matter how hard, nor how much I'd rather not, to go to that raw place, I know, when I see her, my Mother's good friend Effadale, heck, MY good friend, Effadale... Her pain ~ the exquisite pain ~ of loosing a much loved son, will wash over me & I will be grieving her loss with her.
"The funeral is at 10 am and I just know there'll be A LOT of people there. So I really think we should get there as early as possible." .... Now, my mother's voice was in my head and reminding me of why she wants to have the early start. I suspect she's leaving time for a stop for a fast food breakfast along the 2 1/2 hour drive. Still I'm turning it over in my mind. I don't see reason to show up an entire HOUR early... I figure if we're enroute by 7 we'd be golden.
I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and the phone begins to ring. . . "Hi!" Mom says. "Do you want me to just go on out and wait in my car? You know? For you to just pick me up when you drive into town? Or do you want me to come out there...?"
(Oh man! She sounds way to chipper and eager to be on the way. Now I gotta explain myself to her... )
"Mom. NO. I'm up. I'm going ~ but I slept past my alarm... So I still got to finish getting dressed" [couldn't bring myself to tell her I hadn't even started yet! Is that evil of me? Hehehee...]
"O. OK! I've got ta go the the ATM anyway. I'll do that and then you'll just swing by here - right?" she says. .. .
Yeah. Right. ... I'm considering everything all at once. Checking car fluids, getting gasoline, cringe! -> ATM=$, I need that too... Is it better to go black velvet skirt and black T-top or the gauze floral skirt I've been trying to hold down these past few windy Sundays and match the black T-top to that...? Where, for the love of everything, is that long lost T-top I'm thinking of ... Basement, I'll bet!? Check clock: 6 AM I should be on the road... It's gonna be a long day.

And it was. The situation trying at best. A man, tired from working hard and traveling great distances has some beers with his friends. Gets behind the wheel of a vehicle and starts that last leg home. Some how he looses his bearings on the Tom Osborne express way and begins driving South in the North bound lanes. Several motorist use cel-phones to call the Highway Patrol ~ but before the law can intercede ~ the man collides head on with a family: A father, a mother and a little baby. The man, Effadale's son, is instantly killed. The little family badly hurt, most of all the baby who is thrown from her restraints ~ suffers sever head traumas... She is evacuated to Omaha. Her parents are kept at Hastings for a couple of days and released.

Mother is a good friend of Effadale's brother and sister-in-law, Louie and LaVeeda, who travel to Effadale's side to comfort her and help in whatever manner possible. They plan on returning to McCook , Monday afternoon so they can prepare what is needed for in coming family and the funeral on Wednesday morning. They are westward bound at the half-way-home point on highway 6 & 34 ~ cruise control set at 65 mph ~ the posted speed limit. ..... They approach the junction for the Kearney turn off and Pick-up truck traveling in the east bound lane pulls a left handed turn directly into their path. Poor LaVeeda tried to hit the break ~ she never made it. The officers on the scene noted that the cruise control was still set... The force of the impact spun the car and badly broke the contents: 2 very sweet and loving senior citizens, salts of the earth... Had they not been in a full sized car and wearing their restraints to boot, they'd have been toast. Instead they are in Kearney ICU ~ both horribly bruised and broken. I'll spare you the lengthy list of their respective injuries.

The plan is to attend the funeral and drive home by way of Kearney and see Louie and LaVeeda as well. It is a splendid day in Nebraska-blue, blue skies with the fluffy cloud puffs, painter Bob Ross always referred to as "Happy", because of the huge storm cells passing the week before all is emerald green... The rising sun is illuminating every nubile leaf on every tree. Mother is alternating introspective with happy chatter. I'm enjoying being ALIVE! Right along with convinced my driving her here and back is the absolute thing to do ~ even though I shy away from funerals, people. Close to Hastings I spot Long-horn cattle rather close to the roadside... All laying down in the green grasses of a hilly Noll~ babies, calves, tucked away here and there among the herd, water shimmering in the low wash of the gully 'round about them. It is pure peace and pastoral. I commit it to memory thinking as we pass by that one day I'd like to paint that scene. This rhythm of the road, and the lay, feel and look of the grasslands will be the highlight of my day.

We arrive at St. Cecilia's at 9:30 AM, we sign the guest book, receive the program, and are ushered to a Pugh. We are immediately joined by other friends and acquaintances & looking at the program I notice the service will begin at 10:30... [Not feeling ssoooo guilty about over-sleeping the alarm when I see that!] So plenty of time to meditate... to pray for the family that was in the other car, for Effadale and for Louie and LaVeeda, for whatever and whom ever comes to my mind ~ I let it flow... and I'm taken back 6 months... To early December the weekend I discover Mother is not "feeling as well" as she'd let on to everyone around her ~ the weekend Louie and LaVeeda are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.... What a happier time! All their family and friends together~ including the one we'd just passed by in that open casket just inside the sanctuary doors... Prime Rib and all the trimmings...! Family photos, thank heaven for that! I look up and read the Hymns selected for the service, reflecting upon the Lord's tender mercies... And how His is the power, the only one I know of and can bare testimony to ~ that can bring "good" from the adversities, which in a moments' notice... Can strike & bend us to our cores. I am reminded of His hand moving through my life just now, and the untold happiness I'm basking in, because of the love I feel both for and from Him... I am reminded of His hand as it is moving through the lives of these friends of my family's... And I feel a strengthening. The Hymns we rose to sing proved miraculous in their power to unite and sooth... The talk was amazing... and familiar as the truth always just seems to be, I had already been 'lead somehow', to read for mine own self, all the scriptures quoted at this service last night. I am becoming so accustomed to 'serendipity' these days I no longer question it, I just feel humbled and very, very thankful for it. There's more to the story that I won't trouble you all with here....

Just want to wish everone a HAPPY, SAFE, BLESSED, weekend, maybe spread some LOVE around you, if you please...

As for me, I am heading for holy ground, in the mile high, this [Sat] morning people... and believe you me ~ I'm taking more than a few of your 'bittersweet' heartsongs with me there! Loving you all.... Cheerios2U!

For thus sayeth the Lord of Host: ~ ...whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels found round about you, to bear you up.