Ok.
Thought I better follow through with my musings. I don't want to trifle, when they involve the Savior. I fear him. Meaning, I love him so much... that's the one relationship above all other's I couldn't stand to wantingly betray - ever. Especially now that we've gotten to know each other so well! Be that as it may, when we look back over the Dorko's life as we know it so far: I'm a dirty-little-double- crossing-lying-begger-chicken poo and THEN some. The list could go on and on here people. How he could care for one such as I -boggles the brain... well.... [LOCK ME UP! I just had a screen come to mind--> Wayne & Garth, bowing down, chanting "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Smiles! Of course anyone YOU love, as much as the Savior loves us, IS worthy when you think about it... Beauty-A?]
WTHeck? Am I talking about?
Well, I was over on the Blind Idiot God Blog and I happened to comment that I'd had a face to face conversation with Jesus once. (So. I'm one of "those" people who will testify to infinity and beyond, that He is who He is - the Living Christ. Alot of people out there will think I'm full of Hooey. And that's OK. Beauty is YOU get free will to choose for YOURself. Choice by choice, day by day we go merrily, [or not], along life's pathway. It's just that I'm over yonder now, beyond belief... [did one of you just "snicker"?] ...Yes? Well, I'm way into the realm of I KNOW IT and so, knowing, I cannot now, disavow it. As such, Ive added my voice to Joshua's of old in saying, ..."as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.")
I'm digressing! crap. I don't want to make a big deal out of this! I simply want to post the incident like I said I might do and get on with my chores.
It was a long time ago, now.... I was on the fading end of childhood innocence, hurdling dumbfoundly into my teens. I was not a 'happy camper'. My family was in turmoil. My parents were on the last legs of a passionate marriage. (it was not all moonlight and roses for them - I gained a certain amount of understanding, from them, on why we should learn "to bridle our passions" When they loved they loved and when they faught -) Anyways, chalk a few things up to the blind faith of a child, I'd always been told and beleived and knew there was a God and that everything was pretty cool wherever he was so... I begin thinking I'd rather be THERE than here. [Heaven, people, don't we all wanna go to heaven?] But how to get there? My one attempt to leave home thus far was a dismal failure. I'd made it to the back of the house, perched there on the cement step with my little suit case. It was packed with white tube soxs. (Shut up! giggle.) I just began to feel quite strongly that, I did not want to be here any more. I wanted to go home to God. So ...I'm kinda on a lookout for a way, couldn't it just be like on Star Trek? When Captin Kirk is ready to go he just signals Scotty to beam him up -right?
Then I see an old movie (actually it wasn't that old at the time...) that has a sceen in it where this Indian gets tired of being here (just like me!) and so he lays down and basically asks to go. Hey! I thought, "That's for me! I'll just do that!" [Do NOT ever tell me that TV & MOVIES, & MEDIAS don't influence children people!] So later that night, after the "Now I lay me down to sleep" stuff and kisses all around, I start up.... asking God to take me home, begging and pleading my little heart out. . . repeatedly. Next thing I know I'm transported. Spiritually? Physically? I know not. Let's say, Consciously, that feels more right here than anything else. . . and there's Jesus. I was a little surprised, because I was asking for God, you know, and then here's Jesus. (Years later I realize, well, He is the advocate with the Father and He is on record saying "...I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." so I guess He meant evverrybody)
He spoke first. He said, "I cannot take you with me now. It is not your time to go."
I remember his eyes were very kind and had "that" amused parental light in them.
Think about a child asking their parent for something they're not quite ready for and the parent, knowing the child so well, has prepared just the right thing that will delight, satisfy and ultimately prepare the child, to receive their heart's desire when they are ready for it. He was looking at me like that. And that's when I noticed the table. There was a table there. It had a simple white table cloth on it and it was packed with beautiful, exquisitly wrapped gifts! I don't have the language skills to describe for you how radiant and awesome they were! But...remember?...When you were a kid and you went to somebody else's birthday party or to a wedding, maybe? And you saw all the presents laid out waiting to be opened? Didn't you kinda wish some of those could be yours? And in the early years you whine and beg and plead for them, but the cruel world teaches you that not every gift is for YOU!? (I'll admit to it. I was a greedy little pig. I ALWAYS coveted the gifts on the gift tables. Always. But I've grown, people and... I'm digressing agian!) (sorry!) Soooooo... as soon as I notice the table those piggy little feelings come right up - but I'm a teensy bit retracted because I've already been taught it's not always all about me...
and the Savior asks, "Do you see the table?"
and I'm like, "Uh-huh."
and he says, "Those gifts are yours."
He had my attention.
He went on, "You will open each of these gifts when it is time and you will share your gifts with others."
Me, "Ok."
That was it.
That was all I needed to know.
(interview over)
I don't run around telling people about it much.
It's come up a couple times when I felt prompted to bare testimony to someone.
It's too sacred of an experience for me to share with just anyone, now here I am hanging it out here on my blog!!! (Sheepishly rolls eyes heavenward)
Well, maybe the experience itself was one among those gifts, to be opened in due time and shared with others.
Even though it happened to me I don't think it's "unique" to me by any means.
I think we've all been given gifts. Some of them might be just for us and some of them we oughtta willingly share with other people. [Beams brightly at her monitor!]
I admit I'm a Dorko.
I've screwed up plenty (and still do!) but I'm being truthful & sincere with you here.
Please don't judge me harshly, rather think upon these things... with your own sincerity of heart, having faith, and the Lord will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost you may know the truth of all things.
Ah! That Holy Ghost! THAT'S the gift that keeps on giving! *sighs lovingly*
7 comments:
Man Dorko
yr testimony
made me feel guilty
abt the feelings i been having for u ...
but at the same time i dont feel too guilty ...
coz feelings are also spiritual
we nednt feel guilty about our sexuality
it was put there by God himself...
i tink...
and i hope lightning dont strike me when i post dis..
Hey there... I'm a friend of Aza's[Blind Idiot God] since long, long before the wonderful world of blogging, and on occasion I link to his online buddies to check out a random post here and there. I just read this one of yours, and I wanted to say something positive. I was brought up Catholic, converted to atheism at one point, and now consider myself someone resembling more closely the Wiccan or Pagan earth-based type-religions, although I currently practice neither. I believe in [a] higher power[s], I just haven't quite nailed down what or who, and I don't know if I ever will.
What's my point? Yeesh, I can ramble on, just ask Az!
Well, I guess my point is that I really liked the idea of the table with the gifts, and not just because I'm a greedy little one, as well! The thought that we all have this whole table full of pretty packages from the start, and we get to open them when we're ready, and keep them all to ourselves, or share with friends & loved ones... well, it's a really nice way of thinking of it. Maybe we even have huge roomfuls of them, little ones, since I do believe that every day is a gift... and geez, we'd need an awful lot of those pretty little packages!
*feeling a bit guilty because this is my longest post on any blog, including my own, in a really really long time...*
Have a beautifully purple sparkly wrapped day with a big shiny green bow on top!
I may not believe myself, or at least am not sure what i believe, but I've always encouraged others to believe. Never be ashamed of you belifs, stand tall and be proud. As long as you belifs don't hurt any one else and you don't try pushing them on others, as so many do, there is nothing wrong with any of them. Faith is a guiding light for many people and can help you through life. It is a good thing and I'm glad your strong in yours. I won't comment on the 'Vision', stranger things have happened in this world, and your not the first I've know who has had a meeting of this kind.
I've always said if your going to beleieve beleive in your heart and not in a church. Either God is everywhere or he's no where, but I doubt he's certain places more than others, such as a church.
Peace be with you Dorko.
I had a vision/dream/seizure whatever. It was during one of my roughest times of my life. And I was being held like a child in someone's arms, very very tight, and the person was holding me and weeping with me. I unwrapped my arms from around their neck and looked into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. They were Jesus's eyes. He looked at me, and held me close, then I noticed that Mary (his mother) was there with her hands on both of our heads and they were crying with me, not because of what I had done, but crying with me. When the weeping stopped hours later, I pulled back a little and with my pride said. "it's okay, I'm alright now" and Mary said "I'm glad, but you will be carried from now on, and they started walking a path with me in Jesus's arms, and her just with a hand on us"
I feel to this day that he still carries me. When I have hard hard trials in life, I feel the embrace tighten and I look up and see those eyes....my god those eyes.
1. Saby! I feel for you too, babe - stay GROUNDED! Hehehee.
2. She must be full of bs! We get what we give -A? No worries about the length of your comment, I love chatty too. :D I'm honored that you stopped by and I thank-you for your gift. :)
3. Azathoth, that wisdom and that heart of yours just sends me! Looks like we tend to get rankled over the same things when it comes to folks expressing their beliefs, or lack there of. (say, when it goes from express to OPRESS?)
I was naughty to your ACTS visitor. Made the grand mistake of going to his link, got upset over it's content (DER!) and set about giving him the what for! WELL!!? I figure HE STARTED it, opened up the Pandora's box &-what not... (Dorko rides again! Stupidly thinking there'd be something of value to puruse...NOT!)So. Yes. I rebuked the cad & now I feel stupid for even clicking over there. *shudders*
Peace, Love and Grapenuts back at U, Aza :)
4. Burfica... U saucy dish! How 'bout we go into the Custom Vortex Bra business together. I've been thinking about a marketing plan that might just work! -and if the hard times hit we know you'll, at least, be carryied along!
heyy Dork,
i just posted my testimony too on main page ....
do visit...
u betta
WELL...I'm late as always...seems there's nothing for me to do here...looks like everything has already been chewed on!
I will say that anyone who does not have a belief in anything can NOT advise anyone on anything. If you don't believe ... then you don't know! Then you should shut-up!
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