Story Time!
This is a lengthy post.
This took a really long time to write.
I'm hoping it flows well with you when you read it.
I could have just said,"Um, one time, when I was out in the woods..."
But I LIKE the idea of developing the story (A TRUE STORY) BTW.
It's either dish this or go hand wash what's sitting in the kitchen sink.... :D
(WARNING: Check your V-chips. Dorko is about to use "Nudity, Adult language, Sexually Charged Content", none of which is gratuitous, it is just the way the story goes people)
All this talk of dreams lately...
Especially the mention of
"lucid dreaming" -
Reminds me of the summer I was a roommate, in Flagstaff, with Hal & Jon - & Mike came to visit. Mike ended up staying, like the better part of the entire summer, which began to entirely wear on the roomies. But he was Hal's bud & it was Hal's place so we made light of it... snicker... OFTEN... snicker... (because there were plenty of quirks with him and the rest of us, like booger collection contests and fart lighting demonstrations, to pundant over), which is one of the best ways to blow off steam. Or, that's what they all tried to tell me anyway! {BEAMS!}
We really did have fun, it was a, safe, hip, happenin' and happy household to be in . . . great learning environment (I'd always heard, but had never actually seen someone light their farts before and what's better yet is I'd walked in on them doin' it, by sheer accident & surprise! YES!)
These boyz had all the toys! A computer they were always suping up, a kickin' audio surround sound system, CD's, players and a DISHWASHER, praise God, I'll always Love YOU, Hal, for not poking fun at me when I asked you how to operate it. (Thank-you Hal!)
Mike was actively seeking ways to earn money without having to "punch a time clock". He had a business card that basicly said he was a Horoscope consultant. He was full of stories where he'd helped poor folks get better accident insurance settlements from their insurance agents because he'd ran all the data past the star charts, & how he couldn't or wouldn't buy a car or marry someone with out first knowing if it was a favorable time and day according to the "Heavens" and they were the right sign. (He liked to make fun of Saturn cars.)
Take the moon for instance. He claimed that if you select a wedding date that was during a waxing moon, you stood a better chance of your marriage building and getting fuller over time than if you picked a time where the moon was waning, which would influence a decline of the marital relationship. (I kept thinking that we could just buy a Farmer's Almanac...)
He spent alot of time at the Library because he was trying to tie his "star-system" & all this information into becoming a killer stock and commodities trader on the mercantile or the NYSE <-(NewYorkStockExchange. Yes, Indeedy.......) OK- all this time has gone by and I'm still looking dubiously at the thought I just typed. Hehehe. He had with him all sorts of soft ware for Hal's computer that would form your star charts for you if you would just plug in birth statistics like: date, time, longitude, & latitude. The program would run these down and regurgitate (I think they used the word "map") your "natal chart" which they explained to the Dorko, was a record of the exact positioning of the planets, at the moment one is born into this world and therefore, what effects all aspects of your doings while you are wandering around on planet earth. I thought of natal charts, there after, as a star-print, kinda like the little feet and hand prints the hospital takes of the new born babies. I found out I had a Sagitarius Rising, I forget what they said about my "midheaven"... I don't know if I still have that "natal chart" they did for me or not....? Anyways.... I thought it was all a lot of Hooey, however, I'll admit it was interesting to the point of entertainment - especially the way these full grown men would see a hot girl that summer, strike up a conversation for the sole purpose of digging out her birthplace, day and time (if possible) & then scurry back to home base to run the info. THEN they'd spend a bunch of time comparing Hotties' natal to their own natal's to see if they had a shot with hottie or not. (Rolls eyes) - If so, they might go back and flirt some more, if not, they just wouldn't bother. (Of course it almost always ended up as a Zero for them because by the time they got back to Hottie, she'd be hooked up with someone going off of, oh, the Pheramone, the Neanderthal or maybe the Wild Monkey system of sexual attraction) I remarked, at some point, that I thought it was all pretty much a scream and that I thought this could make for a pretty good SNL skit. But, you know..., they were so into their little game that summer that they did not care and ultimately, when in Rome... well.... I began to play a little too! :D As I remember it, there was a lot of interviewing & charting & not much dating action going on that summer! Although... Hal did pay a few more visits to his "special, beneficial" girlfriend & I had an interesting interlude with a biker called "Ram" (yes. He was an Aries. But no, I thought he was more loser than firery beast. Not alot of "Ram" upstairs if you know what I mean.) and, alas, I had
ONE, mind you,
ONE, in house sleep-over, with a very cute mining explosives expert, that I'd drug home with me one night; whose hobbies & interests were diversified enough to include Billiards, Megadeath soundtracks and personal activities in Rodeo bull riding.
Shortly there after, I came to recognize my roommates as true gentlemen. I remain thankful to this day, that they did not to razzz me about Mr. TNT, or the racket we had to have made behind closed doors together. Bucking right out of a futon, practically flipping it over in the process, in the middle of our little slumberparty escapades had to have woke somebody up. The one fleeting sexual highlight of my summer and I was almost too embarrassed to relish it. Only after I drove this Bed-bustin' He-man back to where I found him, never to see the daring young man again, did I run HIS natal chart with mine. ("Why, of course I know what time of day I was born, Sweetie," he'd said to me, "I know everything about the way I came into this world.") ...and... it didn't help my hangover much to find HIS to be the one chart saying 'perfect match' for me. Hal went so far as to let out a low whistle when he saw it. . . said there was "Tri-ning" going on all over the map between our 2 natal charts and that it was one of the best matches he'd ever seen. Damn and double damn. Here I'd just made a slut outta the poor man and sent him on his way. *sighs*
Hal's buddy, Mike, was
also way into the concept of
Lucid Dreaming he was advidly reading up on it and since he was sleeping on the hide-a-bed, smack in the middle of the living room. He felt obligated to explain the $900.00 state of the art sleep mask he plugged into the electric outlet each night before placing his pencil and his dream journal, just so, within arm's reach, and pulling that dang mask thingie over his eyes for beddy bye time.
I'm glad he explained it all. (I remember having a few dreams, at the time, that 900 bucks would have actually made
come true!) Anyways.... It was a little disconcerting, to wake-up in the morning, go down stairs & over the handrail, see him laying there with this black mask over his face, twiching, on the pull out- then he'd sit bolt upright, whip the mask off & franticly scribble into his dream journal. You couldn't say "Good Morning!" to him, until he was done getting "it all down". *sheesh!* If one didn't know what was going on, you'd walk around the house with your eyebrows raised up,
all the live long day!(Rock was no help at this time. His long-distance question to me was, "Dorko, how come everytime I call you up, I feel like I'm calling into an MTV episode of THE REAL WORLD?" - smartalecky little brother.)
The $900.00 electrified sleep mask was specially designed to "sense" when you started REM, which means you've gone into a dreamstate and the mask had a little light over each eyelid that would then begin to flash. This was suppose to signal your subconscious to become conscious and "lucid" in the dream so you could take control of your dream. He explained that the advantage would be problem solving for a job situation, maybe or working out whether or not you could make it to the top of the mountain you were trying to climb (these guys were all into the rock climber, adrenaline junky lifestyle... the type of people who liked to think that they could snap a carrot with their butt cheeks....)
As the summer wore on I realized that Mike just wanted to have some sort of sex with someone, even if dreamland was like, his last hope.
I decided this after the morning that he was damn near inconsolable because he had just dreamed that he'd been with the most beautiful, naked woman he'd ever seen and she had dived into a pool (hummm. He didn't say if she'd had a name, could it have been Alekx? I wonder. Alekx? You reading this? You ever go diving, neckked, in front of a guy named Mike and make his little pool lights go flash, flash? What's that you say? In his WET DREAMS? Yep.
Thought so!) well, ... he said he had noticed that the pool lights were going FLASH!, FLASH! - but he'd only now, AFTER waking up, realized that
that had been his "que" to become "lucid".
I could feel his distress so I DIDN'T say, "Lucid. Right. Not to be confused with
flacid." That would have been cruel, and everyone of them had been so kind to me and my Buck-A-Roo, I just couldn't be sassy to him, not right away... ... ... anyways ... ... ... ...
Read on, there's a climax here, somewhere !
(Lord, I'd like to apologize for the stuntz I've pulled ...)
He drove one of those little 2 seater cars... I can't remember what one??? like a corvette (but that's not it), or a Z (but that's not it), or a Spider (but that's not it), or an mp3??? an MX2??? somethun like 'at. He also had a bunch of expensive camera equipement. He decided one night he wanted to go out into the forrest, find a good spot to set up his various cameras on tri-pods and try to photograph the stars in the nighttime sky. Which we all have to admit people is a much better plan than trying to do so during the daylight hours.
I was a little surprised when he asked me, "Would you like to come along?"
Dorko, me, says, "OK."
So we drive and drive. I'm thinking, oh. oh. I don't know this guy all that well... what if he tries to pull something weird on me out here in the Ponderosas? ...by the time this thought occurs we're OUT there, we're climbing dirt logging trails up the sides of the San Fransicos' in his tiny sportster car... and he finally stops and he gets out and I decide I'll just follow him and deal with whatever happens as it happens. (The opportunistic, moment by wary moment plan.) So we beging tramping off into the Pines, carrying all this camera stuff and soon enough he finds a spot he seems satisfied with and he sets up his gear, chatting along, about what he's doing and why and how cool this kind of thing is and how way cool HE is and all. SO! He gets all the cameras ready, explains it's gonna take quite sometime before the pictures take, because starlight is so dim the exposer needs to be as long as possible bla, bla, bla, bla,. .. . ..
We commence star gazing together, looking for the dippers etc... when I spy, with my little eye, an aeroplane up there.
Honest to Pete! I could
not, - NOT pass this up! So, I step up REALLY close to him. I try to let my voice go all, sexy-lo, I mean, I move in super close to his ear and say, "Michael. Do you see the aeroplane up there?"
Now, I'm not touching him, but I am so close to him, I can feel the heat from his body and I know that he can feel mine. I can also feel his apprehension, his immediate nervousness at having someone move so quickly and so closely into his personal space. The way we are standing, he cannot see me, yet I know, through intimacy and the intuition of the natural sense, that I have his full attention and he is at once alert and a bit off balance - just where I want him to be.
"Where?" he says.
I stay close and raise my arm up, index finger out, guiding his sight line, (same way you train a huntin' dog to see the retrieval you need him to get...) "See? Right... there.... See it?"
"Yes. I see it." He says- all open and innocent.
Damn. Open and innocent. I gotta talk myself into staying the course here... So, I,m telling myself, keep going, hang in there, slow and easy...and ...
... and I whisper to him, "Michael, are you... ready for a mind-fuck? I mean... to say, are YOU... ready for a really good... MIND-FUCK!? I'm making especially sure that I am tasting that word, "fuck" as it rolls over my lips, my teeth and my tounge... so that he, listening, can practically taste it too, and we stand there for a moment looking up at the aeroplane gliding across the forefront of that marvel, the milky way... and I'm taking a moment, letting what I've just suggested sink into him and He is silent and so am I and then...
"Do you see the flashing lights on it's wings?" I asked, with just a hint of sing-song in my best sexy voice.
"Yes," he says.
Was that a bit of 'anxious' or 'perturbed', that I just heard in his voice? Hummm....
"Then how do you know," I asked, "that you're not dreaming, ...right now?"
And I immediately stepped back. . . . to see what he'd do.
I didn't exactly know what he would do. But I did figure that I did not want to be with-in arm's reach, whenever, whatever, was going to happen ...happened.
And for a few moments, nothing happened.
He just stood there. (or was it more like he was just "hanging" there, suspended?) *smirk*
THEN!
All of a sudden (!) ...
He looks down and jerks his hands up, to his face and by the way he's moving his head back and forth & flipping his hands from palm up, to back up, to palm up, again, I could tell he's really looking for something in his hands! Now I'm wondering, WTHell? Then he looks back up, (at the aeroplane) and then he looks at me and THEN he says, a little shakily, I might add, "I'm not dreaming."
"How can you tell?" I persist, mostly because I'm all into my little ruse now.
"Because," He says, "if I WERE dreaming I wouldn't be able to identify detail, like my fingers or the fingerprint feeling on my hands."
"OH! Right. ...Alright." I said, hoping it was dark enough that he couldn't see the twinkles in my eyes nor the cheshire-cat smile spreading out upon my face.
If he DID have thoughts of putting any "moves" on me that night, I'd appearantly "fixed" him.
He acted pissed off at me for the rest of his stay - {Belly laughing- chuckle}
Oh, which was OK!
....as the summer - was quickly drawing itself out & away.
Just like the little, aeroplane, still flying high and flashing merrily along its way into the starry night.
The End.
